Ambiguous Belle.

Without a breath

I miss you, I love, I need you
Through all the heartache and pain, it sounds insane but I breathe you.
When you hold me I know you don’t know me but I love you
Because I know you, your imperfections, your weaknesses & potential
I see the strength that you don’t see and I wanna be the love that you breathe that gives you that breath that reminds you when the world falls around you
I’ll be there to love you
Through any darkest hours with no hesitation or judgements I’ll understand as I hold you
& I’ll be there to give you what you want because I’m the only one that knows you
If this love you have is real for me, then let it control you.
Why not be driven by a love sick thing if it means all the crazy ways you can show me you love me
Because these three words almost don’t mean enough
If you say you love me and wanna give me the world
Then do right by me because no matter your insecurities I was always your girl
You say you love me but yet don’t want to be with me because of all of the things you haven’t yet done
I know I’m not perfect and know I’m still young, but what happened to the words that said I was the one
You asked me for a chance,
I did it for love in hope of romance
I gave you my hand,
You turned and you left and I hold my breath
To wait for you again
& to fall short of being worthy
Realizing we are not what your lies told me
Far from being homies
Because you never cared enough to know me

Time when I’m at a distance from you kills my spirit Knowing that you’re simply in my every thought gives me the faint smile that fuels my everyday Time with you makes every spiritual to physical part of me shine But the mere thought of it being temporary coats my heart with tears I can never win It’s you at every aspect of my life every corner of my soul whether asleep or braving the world in its unforgiving light I feel as if I can’t let go nor hold on Pleasure with you and pain without I’m addicted to ether So letting go isn’t an option Holding on is a cruel and selfish action of what I feel now Can I just have the thought of forever and cry out in the seemingly painful eternity of what I don’t know? The only thing that is certain is that I’ll die with you one way or the other

Dear sanity

Smoking a blunt with the moon….

All the while I’m trying to learn humility as I make sense of the ego. While pride gets the most of us, whether we like things or not the people around us are those we also share together with.

So, I’m on a new road as a reflective spirit with refined thought. The goal is to reach the pinnacle of harmony between intention and action. Banish self pity because its only a debt unto oneself.

I’ll give you 3 words, Realize, Notice, Change

Now I’m wondering, when will I feel the willingness to collaborate with someone, find ways to nurture interpersonal relationships? As long as we carry no doubt - is when we find our desire, indulge, and cultivate with determination without worrying about others. Because your light will guide them to fruition.

What I’ve learned is that we must seek a balance between various opposites and conflicting desires. This is not instantaneous; rather a slow process that happens gradually, day after day. There are new perspectives to be seen. What time is better than now to end contrasts and antagonism? Embrace the cure, not the disease. CHANGE means taking risks, exploring unknown territories and living in uncertainty for a period of time. Rather us be anti-war, let us be pro-peace and to KNOW the difference.

Tell you one thing I know, for as long as I remember what I know of alchemy, before knowing its name is that its the recognition of all that is possible and transforming one possibility into another. We must understand we are the union of all opposites. And balance is the golden mean to seal the union with our deepest nature and the environment that surrounds us. To be rich, to me, is not a privilege reserved for the few but a question of having the right approach to life.

Let us;

transgress |transˈgres; tranz-|
verb [ trans. ]
infringe or go beyond the bounds of

Advance. ‘Push oneself forward.’ Our feelings often are contradictory due to our richly nuanced personality. We must look at ourselves and merely work on it one by one for what we see in others is a reflection of what we have done on to them.

When we Realize, (really) care about what we Notice, Change so we can Replace, Revise, Create so we can Teach, Practice, Learn.

This is just a rough draft for something greater.

rIILest.

These tears cried, constant reminders of all tried. Maybe sometimes we fall short of what we deserve, because we allow these things to tax us - to take what it can. We try and we try. Breaking backs just to break bread. Hustling harder just to get ahead. If you let your worst days interpret your life’s craze, how are you ever gonna get away?

I know they tried and mom’s hurtin. Dad’s case just getting worse and I want to make it better, I’m trying to keep it together. Trying to understand but the water’s too deep to measure. Trying to enjoy life sailing through gloomy weather. I know brighter days follow, I’ll still try to smile and love you for the while. I’d stay awake forever if there is peace I can achieve. But I die just briefly whenever I go to sleep. Never fully understood it I’m sitting so close under the possibilities I guess I understand it. Starting to get it, made a lot of mistakes but never regret it. Blind blessings of never ending lessons.

We are living a death sentence living these life stories while trying to make sense of it. Has anything been accomplished by penguins?

Someday couldn’t come fast enough

Someday will be worth the wait and heartache. We are merely ironing out who we truly are. Giving each other the best possible end product. ❤

Angelina Jolie

in Playing By Heart.. <3